The Bill Gates / Microsoft Dream Interpretation Dictionary



From the desk of Dr. Marvin Monroe...

MS Office - Need to make pieces fit together, no matter how unwieldy.

MS Word  - Inability to control the number of features in your life.

MS Excel - Desire to pigeon-hole everything in your life into neat little compartments

MS Access - You have a hard time remembering women's telephone numbers.

MS Power Point - Powerful desire to over-simplify things.

Quicken - The need to control all parts of your own personal marketplace of ideas.

Steve Jobs - Feeling as if you're falling from a place of stature.

Apple - See above.

Young Bill (circa 1978) - You long for the simplicity of the command line. You are secretly a Unix hacker.
 
Bill Gates Saving Your Life - Your total worth/salvation lies in the technical age.

Bill Gates' House - High-tech "House of Usher"; alternately, closet royalist  tendencies.

Bill Gates Fires You - Difficulty assimilating into high tech culture.

Paul Allen - Deep-seated resentment that you don't get credit for your  contributions; alternately, the soul in the machine.

Inability To Use Windows (tm) - Deeply repressed fear that computers will control the world.

Seattle Supersonics - Why can't they win in the play-offs?

Gates Day Parade - You think that Bill is taking over the world and the world will be better for it

Bill as your bus driver - You are thinking about who moves the world, not how you could be happier

Microsoft PLUS!:  an underlying need for comfort; the need to surround one's self with simple pleasantries, perhaps
                as a disguise to hide a darker self within, or as a self-delusion to avoid complete emotional breakdown.

Bill Gates Proposing to you - You see yourself as a slave in the modern age yet you think you can be in control.

Turning him down - You want to dictate to world it should be like.  Just like he does now.

Microsoft Frontpage - A sneaking fear that microsoft wants to have its finger prints all over  the web.
              Once it has control, it will turn it against us all.

UPDATES

Windows98 - People keep on telling you the world is a whole new place and you cannot figure out how.

Bill Gates Gives you $1000 in pocket change - You want Bill Gates to give you enough money to solve your problems.

I-Mac - You want to believe you your place of stature has returned in the world, but you know it has not.

Your mother asking Bill Gates to fix her modem - You have a crush on the richest man in the world.

AOL buying Netscape - It looks like I will have to find a new brouser to use.

Bill Gates being an intimate friend of Boy George - Your really wish Bill still liked the way he did in the 80's

MS Outlook - You do not like e-mail, but you are addicted to it.

Bill Gates being a Hare Krishna - Your pre-computer life is in a Karmic conflect with your life today.

Being the synthetic body that Bill's brain will use later - You think that your life would be better if you were a geek.


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If you've got a problem, and you're not a Microsoft lawyer, send mail to Rick or Steve...